Written by Uche Peace

If you do that, you will be choked. Ha! You don’t even need to wait until you get that job appointment letter before you start walking worthy of your dream profession. You start early. You begin to organize things in your head early enough. You get down to work early enough, that’s the right way to life”

“Hmmm… these words are true” I nodded.

“Now Doctor, balance in the things you do is paramount to life. It doesn’t really makes sense that you are being applauded in your office for your outstanding commitment but your family is deprived of joy because of your lack of commitment, and your relationship with God is at the mercy of your work. Now , I need you to return to your drawing board again and look through your life once more. Write down your responsibilities and arrange them in order of priority. God first, family second, job and then any other thing that you ought to be committed to.

Allocate your time effectively and appropriately to these priorities. Problems comes when you try to rob Peter to pay Paul. You spend time communing with your creator not because you don’t have any other thing to do, but because it is very important for your continuity as a strong Christian and because you love him. You spend time with your family not because there are no more patients to attend to in the hospital, but because you love your family too. I tell you if these are all in check- your relationship with God is flourishing and your family is happy, you will even do more in your place of work; you will be more effective as a Medical Doctor when those other two are intact. I am speaking from experience. God will help you my dear as you look into these things we’ve discussed today and prayerfully work on them”
“Thank you very much Mummy. God bless you richly for me.”

“You’re welcome dear. My regards to your husband. Sammy is really a true son of his father” Mummy laughed.

“Thanks mummy”

“Yeah, on a very serious note, your husband is mature. From the way he handled this issue, I can tell you that. Not all men will handle this matter the way your husband did. Matters like this has brought about infidelity and distrust in families. I am a marriage counselor, you can take my word for it. I have seen things in the past. So my dear, you should thank God for giving you such a God-fearing, reasonable, coordinated and understanding bro as a soul mate’

“Yes ma, I keep God thanking for him” I smiled

“And I will commend you too for setting your heart to make things right again. Not all women will do as you have done. Some ladies will rather ignore their husbands plea. They wouldn’t care whether their home is leaking or not. It’s usually when things have gone beyond clean repair that they come crying for help… But I bless God for you both… so can we pray now? Or do have any other question to ask?”

“No ma, I don’t”

“Ok, let us pray,” we held our hands together, “Dear heavenly father I thank you for the family of my sister. I thank you because you are restoring peace, love and joy in this family. Oh father I ask that you give your daughter the grace and wisdom to set her priorities aright and put her life in order. Give her the strength she needs to handle these responsibilities before her. We thank you father for hearing us. We’ve prayed in Jesus’ name”

“Amen”

I left mummy’s office refreshed and revitalized. Mummy’s words were true and on point. I took my corrections. I re-strategized; I strived for a balanced life. Setting my priorities right, allocating my time aptly to things has been one of my biggest secrets. And now, KNOWING GOD MORE HAS BEEN MY GREATEST DESIRE; A LIFE OF INTIMACY WITH GOD IS THE LIFE WORTHY OF LIVING. Now praying and studying the word does not depend on my feeling; I do them because they are life to me. I have also been doing well at work, you know… much more better than I used to. As for my relationship with my family, it’s been flowers upon flowers.

I am Doctor Angie!

Written by Uche Peace

“You are right Sammy, you are very correct.”
“Ehen! So I suggest you speak with her” Sammy suggested
“And that’s exactly what I will do. I’ll find time this week and pay her a visit”
That night, the weight of my negligence pressed down heavily on me. I have been shying away from my responsibilities and there the truth was, staring bitterly at me.

It didn’t take any stress at all to schedule a meeting with Mummy Adaeze. Mummy is a very caring woman. She gave me a warm welcome, and soon enough, we got talking..

“My dear, this issue is not peculiar to you. As a matter of fact, many working class ladies have similar issues- the issue of balance. Now let me shock you, I had similar challenge” Mummy Adaeze admitted.

“You did?”
“Yes I did. When I got married newly I struggled with balancing a lot of things. A lot of things were pressing on me. So many things were demanding my attention at the same time. And you know as a Pastor’s wife, I even have more responsibilities than you know”
“Hmm…”

“Well, it didn’t take me much time to find my feet. I adjusted to my new life with its responsibilities soon enough… Do you know why?”

“No ma” I replied…

“That’s because that challenge did not take me by surprise. This kind of challenge shouldn’t take you by surprise. You should expect them to come and prepare ahead of them. As a single sister and a medical student, I knew a lot would lie on my shoulders in future, so I began my preparations soon enough. That is why I always tell sisters and even brothers to prepare for the future. Prepare for marriage. Marriage is not a small thing ooo, it is not a joking matter..

It’s beyond the butterflies in your belly as a single sister or brother in love. It’s beyond that, my dear. You and I that are married can testify to this. But you see, many of the single brothers and sisters don’t know these things. That is why I sound it like a bell in their ears each time I have the opportunity to do so. And there are those that are aware of this, but have not all really given attention to it. Wisdom is not limited to knowing a thing, it is in applying the facts that you know. You agree with me?”

“Yes ma, I do”

“I tell young people; ‘Envision your future. You want to be a Doctor or a banker and you will also be a wife or a husband, how do you intend combining these? You will also be a parent, you will be someone’s in-law, how do you intend to manage these and other responsilities that will be saddled on your neck in no distant time, and still burn for God?

Sisters, you will be pregnant someday. Have you thought of the weaknesses that come with pregnancy, most especially the challenges of childbirth? I have heard of sisters who allowed their relationship with God to dwindle because they were pregnant or were newly delivered of a baby with the excuse that their baby won’t allow them focus when praying. Different excuses!’

You see, That is why I keep encouraging our youths to build stability in this place of prayer and consistent fellowship with God. One of the benefits is that in the days of adversities, you will have a well within to draw from. It will give you an edge over the devil. But when you’ve not built stability, ordinary pregnancy or a transfer from place of work will knock you off your feet spiritually… My dear, I tell them…. And I will not hesitate to do that every other time. Sometimes I ask them ‘what future do you see? Begin now to organize your life towards that future. PLAN FOR THIS FUTURE AHEAD! You don’t need to wait until the engagement ring is on your finger before you start preparing for motherhood. You don’t need to wait till the day you say “I do” before you begin preparing for fatherhood.

Written by Uche Peace

Then Sammy cleared his throat, finally.

“I am not against your work, sweetheart,’ he began. ‘As a matter of fact, I admire the way you’re passionate about your job. But my problem with you is that, you are misplacing your priorities. You have not yet learnt to balance your life as a working class lady that you are. All the time, it’s about your work. Like your family don’t matter much to you or we are second to your job in your list of priorities…”

“don’t talk like that Sammy,” I interrupted

“You are not paying much attention to me and your kid. I play the role of a father and even the role of a mother to our son. And it’s taking a toll on me. You are not always around. Even in the little times you are, you are always busy reading or researching. You are always too busy for my liking. You never even create time for me when I desire your company – not even when I want to share my day’s experiences with you nor when I request that you help Junior with his Assignments. Many times Junior and I have been forced to take indomie or bread or cornflakes, not because we wanted to, but because you were too busy to cook for your family… how fair is that? No, you tell me, how fair is that?’

‘”Oh pleeeaasseee Sammy!”
“I am married but I’m being starved of my wife’s company. Maybe you don’t value the moments we share together…’”

“But you know that’s not true honey” I protested.

“When was the last time we held hands and prayed together? When was the last time we trashed issues together in the place of prayer? These days, we don’t even get to share issues together let alone trashing them in prayer, all because my wife is too busy…”
“Sammy, this is getting to me” I cried.

“I don’t think it’s getting to you as much as it does to me… Maybe you’ve never sat down to ponder on this. I’ve noticed these days that you don’t spend quality time with God again personally. In the days when you try to, you are always in a hurry to go. I’m sure God himself is also complaining. Angie, you are too busy for your husband, too busy for your son and even too busy for God! Is this what you want? No, you answer me, are you okay with this?”

“No I’m not!”, I cried out, ” I don’t know how I got into this mess… I don’t know how things deteriorated to this extent. I never planned for this.. This wasn’t intentional”

“You are right! You never planned for this. You never gave it a priority to learn balance before you got married, bearing in mind that your choice profession is a demanding one. You did not prepare for your future as a Christian, a wife, a mother, a Doctor and even a daughter to your parents. Sweetheart , it’s obvious you did not prepare for this future that has befallen you. Even if you did, it’s clear that your preparation was not thorough..”

“I can’t deny that”

“As much as your work is a very sensitive one, you must learn to manage your life so that no aspect suffers. You must find balance. Your beauty as a woman lies in your ability to put things in order, to keep every area of your life in check. That’s how you command respect. And I know you my love, you can balance these if you truly want to. It’s just that you’ve not actually put these into consideration as you should”

“So what do you suggest I do now?”

“Mentorship” Sammy replied.

“Mentorship?”

“Yes submit yourself to mentorship. You are not above that, you know. Maybe you should speak with someone like Mummy Adaeze, the State Overseer’s wife. She is also a medical Doctor like you but you and I can attest to the fact that she’s doing well in managing other areas of her life- her relationship with God, the Church, her family, her relationship with people. Everything is on check!”